Advisory: Graphic depiction of parenting. Reader discretion is advised.
Call daycare and confirm that you'll be keeping the toddler home today because she had fever less than 24 hours ago. Get toddler settled on sofa with Toupie et Binoo, sippy cup of watered-down apple juice and an oatmeal cookie.
Pull out previously cut muslin for Pendrell blouse. Start to read directions.
"I need a douxdoux (blanket)"
Go upstairs and get douxdoux.
"NOT THAT ONE DOUXDOUX! GREEN ONE DOUX DOUX!"
Go back upstairs and get green douxdoux. Start to read instructions again. Realize how straightforward this blouse is and predict about 2 hours, start to finish.
"I needa go toilet."
Take toddler to toilet. Read the scintillating Les petits cochons, vont-ils aux toilets? 2X. Give up and put toddler back in diaper. Replace on sofa. Pin muslin pieces together; find matching thread from great estate sale score on the weekend; thread machine and bobbin; start first seam. Smell something bad.
"Mama. I went caca. Too late."
Change toddler. Remind her that she only gets chocolate chips if toilet trip is successful (yes, I've resorted to chocolate bribery. For the love of monkeys, she's almost 2 1/2. I'm sick of diapers.) Replace on sofa. Restart Toupie et Binoo. Finish first seam.
"I help you. I do this too."
Make room for toddler next to sewing machine. Quickly unplug serger as she steps on pedal. Open button tin as a distraction maneuver. Toddler finds all the ladybug buttons and spends 5 happy minutes "put them for dodo (sleep)". Finish sewing fronts to back. Plug in iron; prepare bias binding; start to pin.
"Mama, I need snack."
Go to kitchen and find applesauce. Figure that should be easy on the stomach and the sofa.
Notice that it's too quiet in the sewing room / TV room / play room / disaster area. Rush back in to find toddler with glass headed pin in mouth.
"Mama, I find lollypop!"
Install toddler on sofa with bib, dishtowel on lap, and Mighty Machines. Finish sewing neck binding; decide to add sleeves; gather and set.
Pick up toddler. Feel burning fever has returned. Get kids' Advil. Cuddle toddler on sofa through 30 minutes of Mighty Machines ("YELLOW ONE MIGHTY MACHINES!") before you can convince her to take medicine. Start to fall asleep with toddler in arms. Wake up when vomit starts. Clean up toddler. Clean up sofa. Clean self.
(ps. I did manage to finish the Pendrell blouse after 8 hours. All in all, not a bad time estimate.)